I'm not sure what happened between my excitement last week and today. All I know is I am sitting at my desk resenting myself because I have not done ANY substantial amount of writing this week. How does this happen? During the last week I have found myself crying because I felt as though my dissertation was meaningless and meant nothing. I am constantly preoccupied with the thought that my committee will reach that very same conclusion. This is not a good motivator. Like Bornjamerican, I just wish this part of my life was over and done with, and I am beginning to feel like it never will be. It seems like every time I think I am moving forward, something comes up and it throws me back. Nevertheless, I am going to keep on grasping toward this goal. I am so deep into the process, I really don't have any other alternatives now anyway.
My two bright spots are that I have arranged a meeting with a statistician who is willing to help me. Also, I met with my chair today, and she is excited to help me get this paper done. I am going to try to focus on these goals throughout the weekend. 1) I need to clean my data set before my meeting with the stats guy so he can actually understand it. I can do this on Monday. 2) Between now and Monday, I MUST finish the second draft of my lit review. I can give it to my chair on Monday, and stop worrying about it for a little while.
Yesterday, I read this verse in my favorite devotional book. Actually, it is the only devotional book I have ever been motivated to read. I am using it as a charge to write and finish. I believe the Father will carry me through, if I can only keep pushing forward. Lord, please help me to write, write, write! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
"I have begun to deliver...Now begin to conquer and possess." (Deut. 2:31)
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Amen Erica! Thanks for this blog...we can always encourage each other! That is what it is all about!
ReplyDeleteLooks like we're all having a moment. Keep those devotions coming. I've been productive today. 2 articles done so far and one more that I'm hoping to finish before I head back to Birmingham. Its going to be a busy weekend but I at least hope to read and possible write a bit on Sunday and Monday. Good luck on your work this weekend. Sounds like you'll be grinding it out so that you can take a breath on Monday.
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